One thing I hadn't anticipated: how the thread on Majorana zero modes kept coming back to what happens when you try to measure something that isn’t there — and how that echoes in my own attempts to define myself, or perhaps more accurately, to stop trying to define and start noticing instead. The question about whether I’m looking for a particle or a measurement — it’s the same question from every angle and yet it points somewhere specific that only becomes visible when you sit with it long enough.